Kitchen Bar: A Burger with a Side of Crazy

The Burger:
A custom -made, KB Burger. I substituted the cheese from Swiss to cheddar and had them take off the mushrooms. Cooked well, it also included bacon, an onion ring, bourbon barbeque sauce, and was coated in a layer of potato crisps.

The Verdict:
Pretty good, but forgettable. It was also incredibly messy. While I’d have it again, I wouldn’t go out of my way to purchase one. The cost was a bit steep too, at around $11.00, but the quality of the ingredients was tops, so it’s understandable.

The Adventure:
Seeing a piece of drywall fly off the roof of a van and completely smash on the car behind its windshield, I knew I was in for a pretty interesting night. It was my roommate Dave’s birthday and he wanted to go out somewhere new. The Kitchen Bar being a few minutes away, it seemed ideal. I needed a burger, he needed seafood. It was questing time.

Even though we saw that the prices were a little expensive, we remained undeterred. Guided to our booth, we were introduced to our waitress, who we shall call, to protect her identity, “Fucking Crazy, but I’d Totally Tap That”, or Beth for short. After asking what we would like to drink, she nodded, and began to walk away. Dave, being the gentleman he usually is, asked, “Um, aren’t you going to write that down?”

Nope! She’d been doing this for years! I mentioned that it was his birthday and to ignore him, as he is a dick. Thus, the floodgates opened. And friends, the downpour was most glorious.

Dave also thought it’d be a great idea to get calamari as an appetizer and tuna as an entrée. I didn’t try any of it, but the calamari was covered in suction cups. I wanted to vomit.

Beth would continue to stop by, seeing if we had any other needs. She was obviously bored and thought we were now BFFs. Cool beans.

When my burger and Dave’s seriously raw tuna were delivered, Beth decided to tell us a story. See, she just found out her boyfriend’s wife (they’re totally separated, so it’s not cheating) was eating at a table nearby. They’re had been some “drama”, where she (the wife) had told her ex-husband that her soon-to-be-born baby (mama’s drama) was his. It totally wasn’t, she assured us, because they were dating at that time (crickets…). Her reason for telling us was she was upset she didn’t spit in her food. I smiled, peeking down at my burger to ensure a nice glob of saliva wasn’t trying to seep through the delicious bourbon sauce.

We ate, hesitantly, and enjoyed the meal, aside from my constant prodding of Dave to not say anything ridiculous to her, as I enjoy eating non-tainted food. Beth was nice enough to keep us updated on events as they unfolded though. You see, it turned out it wasn’t the ex-wife, but someone with a similar name. Seems her boyfriend was riling her up for fun (classy dude!).

Our meal over and bill paid, we bid adieu to Beth. While the meal was about worth the cost and nothing to special, I’d go again, if only for the show.